OMGWHATDOIDO????

Ok, so I finally got the stuff to make Neville his own little condo Saturday. It's so big, we had to clear out or biggest closet, take down the doors, and put it in the office. It's got a coroplast floor and a nifty little litter box with a plastic screen (which I SLAVED over) lifted about 3/4 and inch off the bottom of the box. There's a ledge and plenty of room for him to hop around and have fun. Well. It has been anything but amusing this past week. He sprayed the entire place with poop as soon as I put him in. NBD. He's probably just marking it as his own. EVERY DAY SINCE THEN it's been a disastrous, stinky mess. I had to break down and give him a bath yesterday. Today? He's got little stains on his cheeks from DRINKING HIS OWN PEE, and he actually flipped his litter box over, so there are shreds of wet paper and poop everywhere. I discovered this at lunch today. I have no idea what to do when I get home. His lovely baby coat is going to shreds, and I just want to cry.

Honestly, in a perfect world where I have lots of money and can control the climate, I'd rather have him outside in a big, spacious hutch, but it's too darn hot in Arkansas. I could put him back in his old house (spacious, wire-bottom cage) but the hubs doesn't want him back where he was in that house, which is the dining room, and I'd kind of like my closet back. I just needed to type it all out and figure out what the heck to do. I could:

1) Keep going with this condo/house-training thing, call his baby fur a loss (;_;), and hope that he "gets" it after a while. It hasn't even been a week yet...he might get it eventually.

2) Put his old house in one side of the closet, get half of my closet back, and screw the house-training. (On second thought, this probably wouldn't work because it would be mega hard to dump the trays every day and he would probably stain the carpet with the pee that slips through the space between cage bottom and tray top. No thanks.)

3) Insulate the shed and put in an small window unit AC. ($$$)

4) This was going to be the "sell him" option, but I just can't!!! That is my dead-end, he's-peeing-and-pooping-on-every-inch-of-the-house-with-magical-mega-pooping-powers-and-stealing-candy-from-babies option.

From the options listed...*sigh* I think I'm going to go with #1. God, help me.